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Oh shit. Another email from Citibank San Francisco!
I have never been to San Francisco. I open the email
header to check the IP address, and it again resolves
to Moscow, Russia. Enough is enough. This time I
will track Boris and Natasha down. I don't know
Russian, but that's not a problem. I boldly log on
to one of the most informative Russian hacker sites,
go to the forum, open a second window, and translate
my questions and answers in real-time. I feel like
I could beat Garry
Kasparov at chess right now. Preliminary research
done. Now I have some decent information to compare
my problem set against. OK, here we go. Number one
on my list of questions for Russian
law enforcement, cut and paste:
Response received, and double-secret Russian encryption
broken. Anna Kournikova, I will soon have your e-mail
address (Paris Hilton's
was too easy). Now I have all the information I need
in order to rat on at least this one group. Soon,
I will script this, and flood Russia with abuse complaints.
OK, my log entry and notes are in the right format,
and it's ready to send. Linguistically, culturally,
and politically lamer hackers could never have pulled
this off. Pass
the vodka.
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